Balance and Expectations

I am surprising myself by my response to this new life I have. This new life being one of working 110 hours the last two weeks, plus pouring what ended up to be 140 candles, plus all the mama stuff that must be done.

I'm not being a freaked out spaz (for the most part anyway-though I do, of course, have my moments) as I thought I would be. Why? Well, it's all about my expectations. I no longer expect to have free time to hang out at Nestlewood and do whatever I want to do. I know that simple life is no more, and I don't expect it. I expect to get the kids where they need to be for the day, put in 8 or 10 hours at a hospital, pick up the kids, get home and fix them supper and then spend a few hours hanging out with myself (or Chris, if he happens to be here, which isn't often as he is working all the time as well-Washington DC trip to pay for and all that) I don't expect long hours of uninterrupted time for myself. What I am doing is finding my balance as I can find it.

For example, when I wake up in the mornings, before I even let my muscles begin to stir, I go over my dreams of the night and try to see what they are telling me. Then I do a quick chakra balance, say thank you to the Universe and get up and start the day. While I am at work I keep my iPod in my ears to enjoy books or music while I do my job. Since I sit all day at work, I am not physically tired when I come home, (only mentally) so I don't feel the need to sit. I'll happily cook supper, clean the kitchen, pour candles etc... because it keeps me off my bootie. The housekeeping tasks fulfill my nesting side so aren't hardships at all. This week I plan to begin the journey of getting caught up with my scrapbooking, since I haven't done anything in it since early 2005, when I started back to college. I am not looking at this as a task, but as a creative outlet and reminder to cherish the day in and day out with my great kids and husband.

I indulge myself at job 1 with audiobooks. No deep literary thoughts for me there as I listen to fiction books I have already read, so it's like a visit with old friends. Nora Roberts, Stephen King, JD Robb and Jan Karon are my favorites while I plow through the ER charts. Job 2 requires more of my concentration than job 1, so I have endless cool iPod playlists coursing through my earbuds.

It's all about my expectations. I could expect to have a certain lifestyle and then get crazy because that's not what I have. Or I can expect to go through each day doing what needs to be done, finding pleasure and balance and joy, with a grateful heart.

January, in Review

I stole this idea from Casey. Rather than wait until the end of the year to make assessments on how we are doing on living the life we want to live, let's take inventory once a month.

In January, I did many more things that made me happy. I read more, I stitched more (2 Celtic knots in January), I exercised more, and I feel like I was a great mom. I only bought one block of Velveeta, which is quite an improvement, and I stayed far far away from Doritos. That isn't to say that I did not indulge in crunchy stuff dipped in creamy stuff. It is only to say that I did not OVER indulge in crunchy stuff dipped in creamy stuff.

I worked at the hospital a very reasonable amount (I heart PRN) yet was able to be home when the kids were sick, needing Mama pampering. I did lots of cooking and Chris spoiling too, which makes me happy.

For February, I vow to get our taxes done (H&R Block will do ours for $49 because I was a college student in 2008)walk 10 miles a week and put in that damned Body Boot Camp DVD that I bought the first week of January. And, if I am a very good girl, I will move my puff along with the DVD, and not just watch it and think ugly thoughts about the tight bodied bitches on the screen in front of me.

I Think I May Be A Pervert

I am in love with a 17 year old boy/107 year old man/90 year old vampire. I began to read Twilight by Stephenie Meyer this morning and have read nearly 300 pages today.

Sure, I had heard all about the series, but didn't really think I would be interested so never bothered to read them. A blog buddy, Rilana, mentioned the characters in these books yesterday, and I dreamed about the books last night after reading her blog post. I bought the first book this morning and dammit, now I'm hooked!

I have been called in to work tomorrow and Friday with my new job, which of course is wonderful, but this means I will not get to read until after I get home and get the kids their supper and their baths and homework and play at least one game of chess or Uno with them.

I suppose Edward will have to wait for me until this weekend.