Balance and Expectations

I am surprising myself by my response to this new life I have. This new life being one of working 110 hours the last two weeks, plus pouring what ended up to be 140 candles, plus all the mama stuff that must be done.

I'm not being a freaked out spaz (for the most part anyway-though I do, of course, have my moments) as I thought I would be. Why? Well, it's all about my expectations. I no longer expect to have free time to hang out at Nestlewood and do whatever I want to do. I know that simple life is no more, and I don't expect it. I expect to get the kids where they need to be for the day, put in 8 or 10 hours at a hospital, pick up the kids, get home and fix them supper and then spend a few hours hanging out with myself (or Chris, if he happens to be here, which isn't often as he is working all the time as well-Washington DC trip to pay for and all that) I don't expect long hours of uninterrupted time for myself. What I am doing is finding my balance as I can find it.

For example, when I wake up in the mornings, before I even let my muscles begin to stir, I go over my dreams of the night and try to see what they are telling me. Then I do a quick chakra balance, say thank you to the Universe and get up and start the day. While I am at work I keep my iPod in my ears to enjoy books or music while I do my job. Since I sit all day at work, I am not physically tired when I come home, (only mentally) so I don't feel the need to sit. I'll happily cook supper, clean the kitchen, pour candles etc... because it keeps me off my bootie. The housekeeping tasks fulfill my nesting side so aren't hardships at all. This week I plan to begin the journey of getting caught up with my scrapbooking, since I haven't done anything in it since early 2005, when I started back to college. I am not looking at this as a task, but as a creative outlet and reminder to cherish the day in and day out with my great kids and husband.

I indulge myself at job 1 with audiobooks. No deep literary thoughts for me there as I listen to fiction books I have already read, so it's like a visit with old friends. Nora Roberts, Stephen King, JD Robb and Jan Karon are my favorites while I plow through the ER charts. Job 2 requires more of my concentration than job 1, so I have endless cool iPod playlists coursing through my earbuds.

It's all about my expectations. I could expect to have a certain lifestyle and then get crazy because that's not what I have. Or I can expect to go through each day doing what needs to be done, finding pleasure and balance and joy, with a grateful heart.