Project Declutter

To begin, I will not attempt to plan the whole year at once. I will focus on one month at a time, with the plans being made on the first of each month. Here is the plan for de-cluttering my home, my health, my spirituality and my sanity for January.

Kitchen, one drawer and one cabinet at a time, starting today, January 1, 2010.
An ideal time to do this would be with my iPod in my ears, and lots of wine in my system, so the task will not overwhelm me so much.

I will spend time every morning with a quick chakra balance and a thank you to the Universe. I will observe the sabbats and esbats, even if only with a quick acknowledging prayer of just saying “Hi.”. I will consciously calm myself and keep a “just float downstream” attitude and not let myself get worked up about things over which I have no control. Spells, certain jewelry, colors and stones are positive focuses to aid me in this.

I will walk a minimum of 10 miles per week.

I will decrease the junk food and increase the raw vegetables, fruits, whole grains.

I will start now.

Getting our shit together in 2010

We have been married 16 years and have lived at Nestlewood for nearly 12 of those. Throw two kids and two careers in to the mix, and we have accumulated a heap of junk. Not all of this junk is physical clutter that can be thrown away or recycled. Some of the junk is mental and spiritual and financial.

Chris and I have decided to get rid of all the clutter in 2010.

To begin, we are de-cluttering our personal bad habits. I was exemplary with my eating and exercise habits from January to early November this year, then I fell off the wagon completely. The Doritos and Velveeta sneaked their way back in, and my couch relearned the shape of my ass while my walking shoes grew mold. Quoth the raven, Nevermore!

Spiritually, I have neglected my peaceful meditation and study. I am out of whack when this is the case, so, in 2010, this will no longer be the case.

Financially, we make more money now than we ever have in all the time we have been together, as we are both fully employed in "real jobs" but are in no better financial shape because of our poor money management. That is not going to be how we roll in 2010.

As for the physical clutter, we are going to take Nestlewood room by room and go through every cabinet, drawer and corner and get rid of the unnecessary. The weeds will be gone from the landscaping, the shed will be cleaned out and the garden will be an herb filled oasis once again.

The specific plans are made, and it shall be done. Oh yes. It shall be done.

Another from Work Toni to Home Toni

Dear Home Toni,
I did very well at lunch today dutifully ignoring the red velvet cake and deep fried chicken fingers available, instead choosing corn on the cob (with no butter) carrots, mashed potatoes, and white beans, with skim milk and a multivitamin to wash it all down I even took a lunch break 3/4 mile stroll!

I'm thinking since we managed to walk 17 miles last week and felt fabulous, we should do 20 miles this week. This is certainly attainable, since the mornings and evenings are cool.

Now, we have to come to Jesus. Lay off the chips. This is non negotiable. You can exercise like a demon and still not be healthy if you gorge on Doritos 3 or 4 times per week. Switch to Baked Scoops with salsa for your fix. You can even eat them for supper.

PS, please order the kids' Halloween costumes so that they will come in the mail on time.

I am feeling motivated and am going to share the love

I know this sounds all kinds of Fergalicious, but I feel a deep seated need to be hot.
I am fighting the physical effects of time tooth and nail, all the while embracing the wisdom it brings me. In other words, I want the wisdom of the Crone, but want to look like the Maiden, when what I am is the Mother.

Cameron and Drew are both single ladies who have been (and are going through) some icky stuff. Naturally, they are both waif thin and tanned and blond while I am none of those things. Now, I love who I am. I love me. But my attention to my physical self has waned the last few years because of my internal struggle to discover this new identity of working mom.

Since the first of the year, my eating habits have been almost saintly. Lean meats, whole grains, raw fruits and vegetables make up my diet and my body is much the better for it. My sweets intake has become almost nonexistent (if only I could say the same for the elixir of the fermented grape). I would love to lose 15 more pounds, so I am bumping up my exercise.

I am going to walk 10 miles per week, come what may, world without end, so mote it be. I will make the weight circuit at the gym EVERY Wednesday.

It shall be done. Oh yes.

Who the hell are Jon and Kate and why should I care?

My contact with mainstream society is limited. I don't watch the news and I don't read the newspaper. I have never in my life watched a single episode of any sort of "reality" TV.

I saw pictures on my internet homepage of this gal with a strange haircut and how someone named Jon had done her wrong and that the world as we know it would soon end. I saw this same strange haircut on the cover of trash mags in the grocery store line, so I began to wonder if this was information I needed. I googled "who are Jon and Kate?".

Am I any richer for having that answer? Only in the sense that I see how far removed I am from the rubbish that passes for entertainment.

Soapbox Warning

Styrofoam should be outlawed.

100 years from now, that Styrofoam cup you used for 15 minutes will still be in a landfill.

I'm just sayin'.

A Potfull of Germs

4 doctor visits in 4 weeks. First the kids, then me. Our ailments have included, bronchitis, pharyngitis, bronchiolitis, strep, sinusitis and "an underlying bacterial infection". Maybe we are about to whoop this stuff.

Reflections and Resolutions

2008 was a watershed. I graduated from college, got a job, tried to balance having a career with being a wife, a mom and me and all that entails. Then I got fired from that job, felt worthless and miserable, then found another and got completely slammed with trying to balance everything again etc...

On the inside I was a complete train wreck for most of the year. Some good things fell by the wayside.
1. Exercise-I went from running 10 miles a week to walking to the mailbox.
2. Reading-I usually read 100 books per year. In 2008 I read 1/2 that, and all but 10 of those I had read previously. I re-read all those books to comfort myself and revisit old friends.
3. Crafting-I pieced a grand total of ONE quilt in 2008, only made candles when someone paid me to do it, and stitched only 3 Celtic knots. Also, every year I learn something new to do with my hands. Over the years this has covered everything from the crafts I just mentioned to learning to play the harp to learning to paint faux finishes on furniture and walls to learning to braid a rug, soapmaking etc... This year, I didn't learn any new creative things.

Some bad things were added to my life as well.
1.Insomnia-Unfortunately I have found the wee small hours of the morning to be the only time in a 24 hour period where I can have some much craved solitude.
2.Low self esteem. Between the job issues and the fact that I didn't do the things that made me happy, I often felt bluer than blue and sadder than sad.
3.OCD. My stress level has caused my OCD to get so bad that I am going to have to change my meds.

My resolution this year is to claim back what makes me happy, and banish what makes me unhappy.

Only, let's make it light blue instead of dark blue

This is what I want. Chris and the kids swear that they will never ride in it, but this is what I want. My 2001 recently paid off car is still running, so, as long as that's happening, I won't get this car. But once it quits...

It isn't that I think this is such a gorgeous car or anything. It's that it would be a public attestation to the fact that I think being judged on our transportation is ridiculous. Naturally, in this car I would be judged on my transportation, thus the irony.

Incidentally

The Obama image in the post below and the image in the sidebar below my cast of characters of the male/male female/male female/female are both bumper stickers on my car. Can you imagine what a hit I am in the drop-off line at Lina and Huck's elementary school here in the buckle of the Bible Belt?

My teeth are falling out into my hands. So many that I have to fashion my shirt into an apron so as not to drop any of them...

This was my dream last night. I was in a hospital as a worker (imagine that) bringing things into my office (pictures, knick knacks etc...)to personalize it when my teeth began to fall out into my hands. There was a physician who specialized in replacing teeth, so he kept fixing mine but they kept falling back out in to my hands again. I had to spit them out because I was choking. In addition to teeth, I spat paper clips, blood, gallons of saliva and bits of the tooth cement adhesive the MD used to put my teeth back into my mouth.

I looked this one up and this is what the dream dictionary said:

If feelings of loss of control, helplessness or powerlessness accompany your tooth loss dream, the dream is typically acting as a mirror of a situation in waking life.
Sometimes tooth loss dreams point to a fear of failure or embarrassment. In waking life, when people lose teeth, they often cover their mouths when talking or smiling.

Let's see...loss of control, helplessness and powerlessness, check. Failure and embarrassment, check.

I'd say that dream pretty much hit the nail on the head. I need some Winnie the Pooh.

Since when is this a plus size?

Underdog

I had all my documentation and a letter to the corporate office regarding Umbridge's behavior sent by the day after my termination. Thursday morning I was in the Human Resources office of the hospital with a copy of the letter, citing specific examples of Umbridge's breaches in the company's code of conduct as it pertains to their managers.

I am just petty enough to be glutting myself with the satisfaction that today this woman is probably wishing with all her heart that she had never laid eyes on me.

On another note, because I refuse to let this run my thoughts and world view, autumn finally arrived in Alabama yesterday. The sky was that clear blue that can only be seen in October, the wind was blowing and the high was the mid 60s. The night time low is 40 degrees and I am so excited! Just 8 more degrees and it will frost, kill all the weeds in my herb garden and all the mosquitoes that plague my evenings on the back deck. We can cut the grass one last time and open windows during the day. I have Pumpkin Crunch Cake, Autumn Dream, Amish Harvest and Candy Corn candles burning to scent the air and send out their pretty glow. Lina and Huck are sleeping in their foot jammies and Chris has taken to wearing a long sleeve shirt unbuttoned over his tshirt and flannel pants around the house. He holds his coffee close to his face and cups it with both hands.The wheel of the year is turning.

If you are going to ride my ass, at least spank me and pull my hair!

I had to change the web address because I read my blog at work one time and I don't know how to erase all the addresses in the address bar. Oh, and because I got fired and am now involved in a pissing contest with Dolores Umbridge, my ex boss.

Notice how I never said anything about how much I loved my job after the first few days? Well, that would be because I've come home crying several times and spent 8 1/2 hours per day being belittled and demeaned. In all of my life, there have only been three people who inexplicably hated my guts. The first was a girl in choir with me in 9th grade. The second was a college professor in 1993. That third person? The boss at the job I held for a mere 45 days.

I was called into her office yesterday afternoon and told that I could either resign or be terminated, effective immediately. Human Resources told me this morning that she had been complaining about me to them and to the corporate office since my NINTH day of work, telling them that I don't know what I'm doing and that she has to go behind me and fix everything I do. On day 30 of my employment, she put me on a 30 day Performance Improvement Plan and terminated me on day 15 of that 30 days.

She had no idea that I was printing out my work to prove that I do indeed know what I'm doing. She did not know that I had about 40 pages of documentation. She did not know that I believe in standing up for the underdog and that I will not allow someone to walk all over me.

She does now.